The other day I read this atrocious one sided view of feminism, written by Tara Kennedy-Kline, and it bothered me. No, it angered me. A lot. The more I read it, the more infuriated I became. I wouldn’t consider myself a hard core feminist, but even I was completely offended at everything she had to say.

Let me just highlight a few of the problems Ms. Kennedy-Kline finds offensive about the current feminist movement. Which she, by the way, conveniently twists into a personal attack against her own sons.

“I want my boys to be chivalrous, to open doors and carry heavy loads, to ask a girl out on a date and pay the bill without expecting anything in return. I am encouraging my sons to tell girls when they think those girls look beautiful. I love that my boys want to surprise me (and eventually their partners) with gifts, and the spontaneous hug or peck on the cheek from time to time to show their love.

But, the latest campaigns by the feminist movement are telling boys they are wrong if they do these things, or anything else that would make a girl feel stereotypically “girly,” or my sons to act stereotypically “gentleman-like.” The FCKH8 Campaign would have girls tell my sons to “fuck off” if they called them pretty or reached for their hand without permission.”

Please tell me how it’s offensive to point out that not all girls want to be pretty princesses, nor do we want or need every man to think it’s his job to “compliment” us. How is it harmful to her sons to point out that 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted every day…that women are not paid the same as their male peer…that a girls worth is NOT wrapped up in her appearance?

FWIW, I didn’t find evidence of the FCKH8 Campaign telling girls to tell boys to “Fuck Off” when told they’re “pretty”, but I have no problem if that is what they feel they want to do.

“Hollaback! sends the message that if my sons make eye contact with, or say “hello” to, a woman they don’t know, they are a predator, or at the very least, a “creepy douchebag.” #YesAllWomen wants my boys to know that the fact they have a penis makes them a threat. They cite the statistic that 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted, but seem to ignore that they are sending the message to little girls to assume 100% of all men are rapists.”

In the real world (which clearly Ms. Kennedy-Kline is not living in), Hollaback! is a campaign to end street harassment. It’s about understanding what street harassment is and explaining how it makes women feel. I am not afraid of my son making eye contact, smiling and saying, “hello” because that is simply called being friendly! There is a huge difference between being friendly and touching or interacting with someone in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. No where does #yesallwomen say that everyone with a penis is a threat! However, the reality, is that sexual assault is happening EVERY.DAMN.DAY and not being reported. #yesallwomen is bringing attention to that.

“#FreeTheNipples preaches to end “slut shaming,” yet what they are really doing is flipping the shame of “sluttiness” from the girls who expose their breasts (and bellies and butt cheeks) to the boys who look at them.” 

Is this woman delusional? #FreeTheNipples is about a woman’s breasts being more offensive than a murder. It’s about equality. It’s about a mother being able to nurse her child in public. It’s about boobs NOT being a sexual object for men to look at. No where do I see that it’s about ending slut-shaming. Those campaigns are out there, but IMO, this one isn’t it.

Let’s look at slut shaming for a second though shall we…

“Teaching my boys that they are somehow wrong, perverted or bad if they look at what is being flaunted in front of them is also making the job of parents a thousand times harder to have that conversation about steering clear of “easy” girls. And, let’s not assume for one second that there aren’t plenty of them.”

No, a man is not perverted to see a woman’s body as sexual, but our bodies are our OWN. We choose what we wear and how we wear it. While some may dress for a boys attention, some are dressing for themselves and they should have the right to do that without being stereotyped or shamed. They should have a right to dress how they want without fear of being assaulted! And, calling a girl “easy” because she may dress a different way or act a different way, is the very epitome of slut shaming. Why does this chick feel the need to keep her son away from the “easy” girls anyways? Maybe teach your son to keep it in his pants or put on protection? Maybe teach your son that a woman can be just as free with her sexuality as he can and that it’s perfectly normal!!

…………………

Hi. My name is Katie.

I’m a wife, daughter, sister, stay at home mom, coffee drinker, lover of nice things and…I’m a FEMINIST. I didn’t used to be. I never really thought about women’s rights or how women were treated differently in the workplace or on the street, but after seeing so many statistics and hearing so many women’s stories…as a woman, raising a daughter and a son, how could I be anything other than a feminist?

I’m teaching my daughter to be respectful, courteous, hard working, humble, intelligent, sympathetic and kind. I’m also teaching her that there is a double standard in our culture. That women can be looked at as the weaker sex, we can be undervalued, underestimated, taken advantage of, thought of being seen and not heard, made to believe we’re inferior and have no power. I’m teaching her that she is NONE of those things. She is strong, she is just as valuable as her male peer, she can do anything she sets her mind to and she doesn’t need a man (although they are great to have around) for anything. I want her to be able to walk down the street and not feel threatened. If god forbid, she’s ever assaulted, I want her to know that someone will believe her and won’t try to lay the blame at her feet.

I’m raising my son to be courteous to women everyone, to be respectful to women everyone, to be hard working, humble, intelligent, sympathetic, and kind. I want him to know that double standards for women exist in this world and to be aware of them. I want him to know that his actions can make someone uncomfortable and to be thoughtful of that. I want him to treat females everyone with respect, but I am also teaching him to be respectful of THEIR wishes.

Feminism is not about suppressing men’s masculinity, it’s not about putting men down, it’s not saying that women are superior to men…the literal definition is “the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social and economical equality to men.”

Let’s just leave it at that and stop twisting shit for your own agenda.